This little poem of mine is specially dedicated to my little ones in Georgia, Atlanta, who miss me and whom I miss.

Especially for the girl who is missing two front teeth,

and the little boy who can't make up his mind whether he wants to be Spiderman or Superman.

I am actually missing it alot. Sorely. Banyak.


Is this what it feels like being a parent?
Well I don't mind then, I can be Angelina Jolie or Britney Spears.
Okay, maybe not Britney. Yer.

It's a nice feeling, you know. I've always called babies parasites. First, they suck the nutrients out from a mother's womb ala Alien VS Predator style,

then then suck the energy and money from the parents for at least another 20 or so more years. And then they grow up, and make their own parasites.
I know, because I am a parasite myself. We all are. Or were. tee hee.
But still parasite or no parasite, I guess loves triumphs all eh? :)

Whatever that we learnt in Med school about obesity did not have me mentally prepared for what I was about to see. And what I saw left a very deep and long lasting impression in me.
When I boarded the American airplane in New York to fly to Florida, I wondered why they had such big legrooms and airlines like Etihad, MAS, AirAsia, RyanAir were so stingy with their legrooms.

When the Americans started boarding the plane, I knew.

*What happened to all the Stick-thin Blair Waldorfs, Nate Archibalds, and MaryKate and Ashleys haaa?? *

Tsk tsk... hollywood.

Of course, watching the Americans way of eating (don't get me wrong. During the next few days, I met Americans who were gorgeous and corrected my initial perception of them) explained it.
A lady who stood in front of me in Disneyworld, happily chomping away on her turkey leg was my first subject of observation. It was fascinating, watching how one can finish up an entire GINORMOUS leg, really.

Turkey legs seem to be an American thing. Everyone's eating it. And so, I wanted to be in the "in" crowd. 5 bucks to try and chomp my way through like she did.

And so, New York was covered with at least 10 inches of snow. Atlanta's cold and dry. Florida on the other hand, was drenched with sun and warmth. Last time I checked, Dublin was raining. No gloating intended ya :)


Flight was quick and peaceful, thank God. But I think Britannia somehow has gotten raised intercranial pressure from the long-distance flight. Her eyes seem to be popping out more than usual @.@ Papilloedema.



And of course,
Meeting my family, and my uncle aunt and 4 cousins (Shawn, Ken, Raissa, JackJack) for the first time in my life. Lovely :)


And so, juggling between theme parks, family time, Christmas coming up, and studying for exams!!, where got time to breathe o????



Oh, and in case some of you didnt get the Christmas postcard from me, here's for you :

Will blog more, but in the meantime, 5 minutes of rest is up. Back to studying gaah!!

Current Mood :

I never thought of myself as skinny.

Until the day I set foot on this land - The land of Hamburgers, Fries and Coke.

Like seriously,
WOW.


Current Mood :

Yes it is.

Everything's OVER!!!! All the hustle and bustle and running around!!

And best yet, no more CARDSIGNING TESTS!! Ever!!!! Oh alright, I'll certainly miss the adrenaline rush it gives me each week. And probably the smell of formaline on my clothes too and having chunks of flesh in my hair. But then again, I won't either. Not really so.
Funny fact that Alvin pointed out : first prosector I had for Cardsigning in First Year was Dr Tom Farrell. Gave me hell, he did. Now the last prosector I had for for Cardsigning in Second Year was Dr Tom Farrell too. Vicious cycle. I think he likes bullying me.

Today I saw a totally new and different part of Dublin. I felt like a tempurung katak, being here for so long yet not knowing the other side of Dublin. Can't be blamed. My legs can only take me that far. It works for at most 1 hour before giving up. Today, I needed to collect a parcel from a delivery office, and according to Wikimapia, it wouldn't possibly take more than 15 minutes to reach by foot.

So wrong. I took ONE LONG HOUR to get there. Journey back took 10 minutes.

Well I guess I have no one else to blame but myself. Horrible sense of direction gaah. Irish people certainly are very friendly and helpful at pointing out directions, but even with directions given, well, I suppose it's either they give horrible directions or it's just me who can't understand simple direction instructions. I got lost so many times!

I miss my car lah..... :(

Anyway, it was worth it. Guess what was waiting for me in the delivery office :)

You know I love it, yet how could you!!?? *hugs and punch*

Christmas greetings might be a little bit late. Britannia is still in the midst of doing her photoshoot for the cover of Christmas cards, be patient :) That's her posing for Elijah, the President of Photography Society of RCSI. Geng leh, her very own photographer wei.

Anyway, I'm now at a horrible state of mind. I know I am in serious shit right now (if language seemed too harsh, fine. Poop then.) Exams in less than a month, tonnes to finish, and yet I'm heading to Edinburgh and US all in next week! Sigh......... Can't wait to meet my parents, and to spend some quality time with my friends, but I can't help having this little naggy feeling at the back of my head.

And thing is, exams' coming yet I'm still in exam-denial mode. Worst of all, this happens every single friggin year every single friggin exam every single friggin time!!! I never will learn my lesson, will I? Sth is seriously wrong man!!

Anyway, I gotta go sleep now. For those of you who's reading this blog because they're bored, watch these two I-WISH-FOR- videos.

This is by far one of the most interesting yet chaotic week I could ever remember! From stuff going missing to tables catching on fire, it's like something you would read out of Lemony Snicket's "A Series of Unfortunate Events".

Not only did my heart suffer so much that it probably would have ended up fibrillating if I didn't start on breathing techniques those pregnant mothers practice, but my brain could not really register whatever that has happened, sort of in a denial state I think.

Yet God has been really gracious. At times when all hope seem lost, He's still there patting me on the shoulder telling me everything is okay. And when I will not listen, He sends my friends to do the patting. What would I do without you?

Still, this week is over. A brand new week, finally! Breathe, Rachel, breathe!



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Today, I passed by Gaiety Theatre along Kings Street. They are showing Jack and The Beanstalk musical.
Normally when I pass by that place, I love slowing down and checking out the programmes of the month. But today, the place was swarmed with hundreds of elementary school Irish girls lining outside.

And they were all in bright, shocking pink.

And carrying ridiculous things like pink Barbie bags, pink Barbie hair bands, bright coloured coats etc. I can't even remember the last time I wore pink/had anything pink!

Forget about the fact that they all have voices which reach the level of frequency which in my opinion, should only be heard by dogs and other supersonic superheroes, the mass of pink was enough to burn a hole through my retina and scorch me optic fibres.

It wasn't until I turned around the corner of Grafton Street only they disappeared from my sight their voices faded.

I think that's enough eye and ear damage for the day.


Anyway, here I am sitting in the library waiting for class, and getting work done.

I have
3 assignments to finish, including a patient to visit.
Application forms to fill out.
A phone interview to wait for.
An event's floor plan to manage.
Less than a month to study for the January exams before I enter panic mode.


Remember when I said second med JC3 is relaxing?
Well, let me correct myself : I'm absolutely wrong.

I dont even have time to poop in peace.

I need divine strength!!


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So, whazaap? Past few weeks - HECTIC!!!! I can't even breathe sometimes. But I must say, I enjoyed it all. And it's not as torturing as you might think it is. I like listing out the good things, coz it cancels out the bad things. Things I like, for example :

Greetings from the land of Greece!

Today during anatomy dissection class, professor PJ Farrell called me a "bloodthirsty little girl" because he caught me ripping open a skull to get to the eyeball in a manner somewhat similar to a hungry wolf digging into a bloody steak.
Me? Bloodthirsty?
Well, if that's what it takes to get my hands on a scalpel and an eyeball to dissect, I take being called bloodthirsty, selfish, thickfaced or whatever anytime. Better than sitting at a corner watching other people do the fun job of cutting the eyeball open instead. We are Asians! We can cut! (Owkayy... I don't know what being an Asian got to do with cutting eyeballs, but ah what the heck, yeah! Take that all you big-sized-Asian-elbowing angmoh bohlangs!! Hehe!)

Anyway, I'm here with my butt on the chair, coming up with whatever random thoughts that I could think of, and noting them down because people are thinking that I'm MIA because I'm either studying too hard, or "partying" too hard, which in my opinion NEITHER are true (especially the latter, I stress!!).
I just... need more hours. Like, 36 hours a day or something. I'm sure plenty out there would agree with me on this, no?

Here's a little (understatement hint hint) update on what I have been up to for the past 1 month :

"Business" trip to London and to attend the UKEC Annual General Meeting was a blast. And even though we did spend 10 hours confined in a room, I must say it's definitely an eye-opener. Here's a scene of the AGM in progress during Day 1. We were erm... passing motion. *giggles* (oh, me and my medical brain!)

And I must say, I did meet the most unexpected of the unexpected there. For example...Lim Boon Seong 林文松 whom I didn't recognise until towards the end of the meeting on the first day. He was one of my primary school friends in SRJKC Desa Jaya whom I did not expect to meet ever again. Soo wrong!

And guess who was a stowaway...

Here's a few random shots of various highlights of events that happened recently in Dublin. Duno why, everytime I look at these pictures, I just can't help but smile to myself. They all look so warm!

I want a hardcore neurosurgeon for a husband who would draw anatomical diagrams on our bedroom wall.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who would stay up all night with me.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who can stand for 21 hours in a surgery.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who believes that the impossible is possible when all others say no.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who is a badass rogue.
I want a hardcore neurosurgeon who can make his boss who fired him speechless by calmly telling him to go home, sleep and talk about it tomorrow.

If I can't find that kind of guy, I want to be that guy.

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 episode 7 - Give Peace A Chance. A must watch. Am I inspired or what!





Current Mood :

Britannia is tired.
Britannia hates human's head and neck with all its horrible nerves and arteries and veins.
Britannia wants to get tomorrow's cardsigning test over with ASAP.
Britannia wants to sleep.

Rachel needs to stop making Britannia study for her and get back to work!!!!



Current Mood :

(pronounced /əˌlɛksəˈθaɪmiə/) a state of deficiency in understanding, processing, or describing emotions.

THIS IS A NON-EMO POST. There are no emotions involved.

I feel indifferent.
I don't feel like talking nor even bother being talked to.
I just can't seem to care about anything.
I find myself smiling alot. Which is scary coz sometimes, I don't mean it. Which makes me a big fat hyprocrite (and I dislike hypocrites, and I try not to be one, but with me smiling serenely when inside I am scowling makes me one, which is ironic, and I'm now blabbering nonsense)
I can't express any emotions at all.
I find myself stoning through small talks during functions/events (which are a social-must or else you're the pathetic one). Yet I don't care anymore, and I'm actually thinking about things like why some humans have bigger noses than the rest or something as ridiculous like that (with a glazed look)
I can't even laugh at Russell Peter's attempts at making jokes.

This transient alexithymic-like periods seem to be coming on more often than usual.

So God, take control please.

Maybe, I just need to sleep and refill my sugar level.

Current Mood :

Today, I bought a pair of adorable sparkly pink baby flats for just €1. Don't ask me why. I don't know why I did either. It's one of those things you do when you do irrational things. It was on sale, and I just thought it was waay too cute to pass.

When I placed the pair of baby shoes on the counter (that was the only purchase I made), the saleslady actually took a few seconds to stare at it and then me before scanning it. Then as I was digging through my bag for my wallet, I thought she actually looked somewhat... odd? Something like disapproval or some sort. I didn't know why, but I think I have an idea why now. =P

Oopsie, doopsie! Rachel's having a baby!! Hehe!!

ANYWAY!!

IT'S FRIDAAY NIGHT!! Finally! Too bad, I just passed off an invitation to a dinner party and a baking session tonight because I'm just too mentally/physically drained to attempt at using my feet/mouth/hands/brains. I think they've fallen asleep. Not to mention having any strength left to socialize. I need my ATPs for tomorrow's party and Sunday and the long week ahead :(

Instead, I am going to take a nice long nap with my camomile face mask and eat tubes of yoghurt.

Oh, and nail colour of the week is :

Now, facial mask therapy and a nice long zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Hurrah to FRIDAYS!!!!

That's all, folks.

Current Mood :

Once upon a time, I use to assume, with the amount of blood one female loses per month, multiplied by 12 months a year, and give let's say 30 years of menstruation per female... the amount of blood accumulated would probably be sufficient to start a blood bank. So why can't they?? Like, doing filter processing machines similar to hydrofilters which filter our drinking water.

Cool Nobel-worthy idea eh? ;P

Then yet again, now come to think of it, who'd want to be the recipient of recycled blood eh? =D

*Laughs manically at own brilliance*

Anyway....
One fine day last week, my uterine wall decided that it was the perfect time of the month to shed its walls, causing me yet again another week of uneasiness and lack of energy. And of course, no white pants for the week.

Though this time, I was unprepared. During the first day, I discovered (to my horror) my usual supply of sanitary pads seemed to have disappeared. Mice must have stolen them to build their nests or something. Or Evelyn took them to mop up spilt water? Lol.
But no way am I going out in my bloody underwear to the pharmacy to buy more.

And then I remembered that in the freshers goodies bag which I smuggled back (even though I'm a sophomore now, can't resist the freebies!!) probably would have a sample pad or so.

Little did I know, it turned out a little bit different this year :

After reading the package carefully, I decided that this new yet potentially traumatic experience wasn't really worth it.


Plus, on the package back it was printed in capitals :

Mamamia.
"Back into the freshers bag you go, you bag of evil "penises"."

Bloody underwear or not, I am NOT going to stick something up any part of my orifice, prematurely. Call me old-fashioned, but I think I'd prefer using the er... conventional ones.

And suddenly I'm uncomfortably reminded of the not too little number of younger-aged/non-medic readers who would probably find my choice of words... blunt?


Oh and thanks to suggestions of many, I have reached a decision - tampons shall be used to clean tight spots in kitchen stoves.


Current Mood :

Okay, first let me get this straight :

I am NOT undergoing major stress in any form whatsoever, nor gonna suffer any mental breakdown. God has been gracious and good, my life is peaceful and I am very happy with the way I'm living my life now. There are a few days when I feel kinda sucky, but that doesn't make me emo 24/7. =) But nevertheless, I wanna hug all you people who cared when I felt horrible. You all know who you are. *hugs to every single one of you*

2nd year in Med school is oddly calm and carefree, with plenty of free time for us 2nd years. Free time for us to choose between sitting in the library, shopping for groceries, taking naps between classes etc. Which I find a little hard to get used to and somewhat... strange? It's an odd feeling. Sure, I can work like hell and slave away burying myself in my books like I did last year. But then again, I realised that part of me thinks that life is way too short to just forego every other chance that passes by. And yeah, I guess that's also thanks to someone's words of wisdom and experience too :)

We've another 4 years in medical school before hitting the life of horrible leftovers, 36 hour on-call duties, sharp decline in social life etc (that is for those who choose to remain single) As for those who are fortunate to start a family, well then, time juggling between family and career then. And a whole lot of other challenges.

Anyway, if we were to be doctors, I am for one not going to be a doctor with poor eyesight, bad skin condition, serious lack of nutrition, stressed-and scrunched up facial skin, balding grey hair and wearing 10-day-old underwear. No sir-ee.


Doctors should look good and confident. Not sad, sarcastic or grumpy.
Patients want happy doctors. And sexy doctors too.


Okay, a little too far-fetched. But you get my point =)

Now, with that cleared up, on to what life is all about now! So yeah, I'm now busying myself with attending lectures, studying, getting involved with activities in college, spending time with old friends and new friends, cooking good and healthy food, shopping, reading up on other non-academic related stuff etc.

You might ask why I seem to be "slacking" (trust me, this ain't slacking!). Well, let's just put it this way - Calm before The Storm. This semester is relatively easier than first year's, and more of a time for us to hitch up our trousers and prepare for the upcoming torturous semesters where we'll be stationed in hospitals till 5th years.

Yesterday night, we decided to take our juniors out for a night out at Octoberfest. And although I wasn't fond of German beer (or any beer for that matter), grooving on the dance floor to old-school songs like Mambo #5, Grease Lightning, Beatles songs, ABBA etc is just so exhilarating!
Octoberfest - Where flowing beer, German sausages, drunken Irish/German/god-knows-what-other-people gather and dance the night away!!!



And just when you feel a little sucky, God sends little things through different people to paste the smile back on your face :)

So here's to all of you again. Love God to the max, live life to the max, smile to the max =D

Francis introduced this guy to me and I fell for instantaneously.
Gorgeous voice, gorgeous looks, gorgeous brains (Yale student, don't play play).


What's not to like with those 3 combo?? Lol!

You know, I have never really realised how much we have steered away from God. How much we idolise worldly things, replacing them instead of God. That itself is a sin itself, yet we never fail to realise that it's exactly what we have been doing all along.

Pastor John has spoke countless times on idolatry (no, not Americon Idol). How we idolise things like studies, exams, relationships, lust, work, family, money, ambition etc, displacing God from His rightful place in our lives. Idolising something isn't just about bowing down to something solid, something you can see. It's about putting an object/feeling for something/someone before God.

Now, I've heard of satanic/demonic possessions, and how the possessed becomes frantic and insane during demonic castings, but I've never really seen one. Until today, Gan posted up a video on FB which rendered me speechless. This boy threw a fit when he discovered that his mother cancelled his online W.O.W. account




The way how he screamed doesn't even sound human. And how he tried to hurt himself.
God forbid my brothers/anyone I love or know would ever become like that. Especially not over an online game account.


Current Mood :

I realised that I have been pretty distracted lately with some stuff in my mind, which I would say have been so for quite some time. But I decided that it's fine time I push them away. Concentrate on God, on my life, rather than on my thoughts.
God has been gracious and everything so far has been rosy. Life so far has been really hectic, and busy busy busy!! With research, summer vacations, now orientations, tours, settling household stuff.


But then, summer has ended, and 2nd year med starts now.
So time to bring out the bibi guns,
build up them emotional barricades once again.
I'm all lock and loaded,
Bring it on, babeh!!

But then hor.... why do I still feel like I'm dreaming???


On a side note,
I never bothered about girly-ish stuff like make up thingies. But then hor, I recently developed an interest in this fantabulous thing called EYELINER. It really enhances your looks(At all the wrong places!!) You'll see what I mean.

Check out the little fun time I had with B the other day.

Oh, and special shoutout to darling Zhuang Xiao, Shuxin, Ben, Vincent, Jeshua, and the rest :) All the best settling into your new school, new home, new life :)



Nighty-o! Cheerios!

Current Mood :

No, I'm still in Milano now... Doing fine here, will be returning to Dublin real soon!

After few days in Milan, I feel slightly less Chinese and more Italian. Though, most of the time we can't understand much (especially menus), and I even mixed up French terms with Italian! I non capisco!!!!!


Now, while my friends are playing farting games on the bed in our hotel *rolls eyes*, I am quietly sitting at a corner of the room, being termed "anti-social" for not joining in the farting chorus, making use of the free wifi. Gotta go now though, and catch some sleep!

Ciao!!


Current Mood : Zzzzzzzz...............

Just when you're down, God still loves me by showing me that there will always be people to love me.

- by Natasha Beddingfield

I was once the girl...

-Who had her head hit with a bag by a bully in a bus but dared not cry.
-Who had to go to the canteen and buy everyone's drumsticks and nuggets and french fries during break time and deliver them, ending up with no break time for myself.
-Who once sat in the toilet cubicle studying alone during tea breaks.
-Who was pushed around by people of the higher rank ordering her to do their work.
-Who laughs it off when people throw insults/gossips at her face.
-Who smiles even when she's hurting inside.


Well guess what, after all these years, I'm still the same girl. The only difference is that, I wear a mask this time which veils whatever emotions I have.


Today, I was really hurt by something that wasn't anyone's fault. And mad. And frustrated. And on the verge of bursting into tears. I nearly nearly did. Yet I smiled and said it's alright even though I was screaming inside the blardy heck it wasn't alright.

Worse thing was, I felt like such a hypocrite. I actually smiled and hugged a person whom I didnt even feel like hugging at all. I felt bad for feeling so afterwards.

Was supposed to leave work at 6pm, but at 3pm, I just packed my things, left the lab, and went home. I felt like I was wasting my time. Useless and pathetic at the same time.

I do know that my home is actually thousands of miles home, where the people I love are and would know what to do/say to make me feel better. Here, my home's empty.

While walking home along Grafton Street, the cold air and the surrounding sights and sounds would normally cheer me up after a bad day. But I just felt as horrible as ever.

But then God worked his magic. I got caught by a busker on the street who is a puppeteer. Somehow I just stopped and watch him and his puppet. They both made me smile, and the tears that were pooling about just disappeared.

And as usual, passing by the florist stalls and smelling the flowers helped to lift the mood.

I felt much better when I reached home, compared to the previous 15 minutes ago.
And He made me think. This is actually a taste of what the real world is like. The working world. So you lose a multimillion dollar deal. You get sued by a patient. You get stabbed at the back without even knowing it. C'est la vie. Learn to deal with it and move on.

Thank you Lord.

Now, I shall push the entire horrible day out of my mind. Waiting for my dear Gan and Elijah to come back, and we'll all go for a night out and have some fun. TGIF. I shall not think about it anymore :)

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